Rejection is good.

I know I said I learned three lessons in the query process, but it's shaping up to be four.  As always, my writing experiences can be applied to so many aspects of life.  I'm in awe of the ways we, as humans, continue to learn the same lessons over and over again just in different contexts.  I suppose it could depress me.  I mean, really, how dense can we be?  Instead, I choose to think maybe it's all reinforcement.  So, the next lesson isn't really new, but I appreciated the reminder.

Lesson #2:  Rejection can be a good thing.

So listen, rejection sucks.  I think I've covered that.  It hurts.  It's personal.  It's a hit to the self-esteem.  That's true whether we're talking about a job, a guy at a bar, a friend who stops calling, or when only a few people "like" the Facebook status you thought was a masterpiece.  Your throat clogs up, and your chest gets tight, and suddenly you wonder why you even bothered in the first place.  Okay, fine, maybe you don't have as visceral a reaction to rejection as I do, but just check out these Reddit users' stories of rejection if you want to know how crappy it feels.

Rejection is important, though.  I'm sure I could find a million and one clichés to illustrate my point, but we have to face rejection in order to improve.  We have to face rejection to know that we needed to improve in the first place.  At the same time, we have to be willing to hear what the rejector is saying in order to change. 

Slow Down!

I'm just going to pretend it hasn't been months since I blogged.  I'd appreciate it if you'd play along in my denial.

Moat of you already know that I started out the year by accepting Jen Linnan's offer of representation. I'm still waiting for that to sink in or for fireworks to go off every time I even think about it.  Despite imagining it happening for three years, the whole thing still feels surreal.  I love reading "how I got my agent" stories, so I'm going to share mine, along with some additional lessons I learned in the query process, but I'll break it up into three parts. 

I've completed and queried three middle-grade novels.   By the time I was ready to query novel #3, I certainly felt like a failure.  My social networking circle is heavily populated with other queriers.  It seemed as if everyone was signing, publishing, and becoming best-sellers (or moving on to self-publishing, but I'll save that topic). I tried to take comfort in what I'd learned and how much I'd grown as a writer.  Sometimes, it worked, but sometimes, I wallowed.

Lesson #1: Go slow

Impatience is my middle name. I do not do slow well.  I'm only 5' feet tall, but if you take a walk down the hall with me, you may need running shoes to keep up.  I go fast.  Not surprisingly, then, I failed on this one the first time around. 

Building Support

Everything built requires support. Beams, posts, trusses, footings.  I probably should just quit with this analogy now because I don't actually know anything about construction, but the general principle applies. Without the appropriate support, structures fail.  It can take years.  It might lead to a minor crack or total devastation.  

As I get deeper into the novel querying process again and as the end of the semester nears, causing my students to scramble or to go numb, I'm struck by the important lessons regarding support we can learn from home improvement shows.  A solid foundation is hard work, but the lesson of the day is: plenty of help is available, but you probably won't find it unless you seek it out.

When I think about it, I bet in most situations where I feel most alone and afraid it only takes a few clicks, a phone call or even a smile to start building a support network.  The most challenging part is that when we are most vulnerable is when we have to make the effort to reach out.  I know my insanely busy students probably feel like the world is about to cave in on them, but there are tutors and friends and family would be happy to help hold up the walls if only they were asked. 

Mentee Bio Post

That awkward moment when you realize you haven’t posted to your blog in 6 months.  Yeah, so hey!

This year, I’ve sent out my application for the Brenda Drake’sPitch Wars.  It works a little like the Voice.  An editor, intern or an author who is already published or agented picks an un-agented writer to mentor (SOMEONE LIKE ME FOR INSTANCE!). Feedback is given on both the manuscript and the pitch (HOW ABOUT MINE?) in order to get ready for an agent round.

Mentors posted these amazing bios, and some of the hopefuls have decided to create mentee bios as well. 

A mentee, bio?  What I lovely idea, I thought.  Then I opened a few, and immediately developed an inferiority complex.  What the heck do I say?  Should I be funny or all serious author business?

After staring at the screen for a bit, I decided my current life is probably best divided into three areas:  family, work, and writing. 

The Comparison Epiphany

So, I had an epiphany.  Okay, fine, not really because this isn’t something I didn’t already know but hey, reminders are always good.

Remember how in my last blog I talked about how my friend told to get over my competitiveness in regards to running races because “Someone will always be faster?”

Well, duh!  That means I will probably always be faster than someone else, too.  I admit that at first the competitive monster in me rejoiced.  I win! I win! I win!

Then, my husband reminded me of these words from the Desiderata:

Un-Slumping

“And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun.Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.”

Fine, I’ll admit it. I’m in a writing slump. Maybe it’s more of a writing motivation slump. In other words, I have none. For a long time, I’ve claimed it’s just physics—loss of inertia. But the reality is, there is something deeper here. Have I mentioned that I might be a bit competitive?

Remember all those lists and goals?

Keep It Simple

It’s hard to believe another month has past, and I haven’t blogged.  I haven't been writing much at all, actually. In general, life has revolved around work, changing our diet at home, and my girls’ dancing.  Everything I'm doing is more immediate.  Make bread.  Go to dance class. Grade papers.  Go to dance class. Read food labels. Go to dance class. In many ways, life is less complicated.

Well, except for that whole guilt about not reading and writing as much thing.

Ah speaking of reading and writing, though my list of books read in 2013 is relatively short, I particularly enjoyed a couple.  I already talked about Eleanor & Park in the importance of place.  The other is Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.