Most folks in my social circle have already heard the good news. My debut novel will be published in Fall of 2016 by Sky Pony Press. I am obviously over-the-moon. It's the big one, right? Dream come true, bucket list kind of stuff. It's the end goal of this whole thing, so by definition, it should mean I'm no longer insecure, right? Well, not exactly.
First of all, despite seeing the announcement in print and even seeing that it's already got a goodreads page, I'm not sure it feels real just yet. I could say that'll come when there's a cover, but I'm guessing I'll need to see the book in print before reality sets in. Even then, who knows?
More than that though, I've been thinking about the very concept of insecurity. There's the definition most of us use: "An uncertain or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence" which is what we're all dealing with in these monthly posts and support for each other. It's rooted in a deep sense of not feeling good enough.
On the other hand, we can twist this a bit. Another definition of insecurity is "the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection." That's scary, sure, but it implies risk and the potential for reward. It's about action and putting ourselves out there.
After I got my agent, I did a series of posts about that process and some lessons learned. I'm going to do something similar now in describing the submission process and beyond. I've found that throughout this whole journey, the more I knew about what to expect, the less my insecurity crippled me. The more I felt okay with being open to danger, so to speak.
For now I say, embrace your insecurity.
Keep trying to do things that you may not feel confident doing, that involve risk.